Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog : Short Jokes Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog

Short Jokes Biography :

Source:- Google.com.pk
It's a little known fact that 'the tan' became popular during what is know as the Bronze Age.
If history repeats itself then I really want a dinosaur.
Adam was the only man not to have a mother-in-law. And he lived in paradise.
I remember when I played Noah in a school play. Ah, those memories are flooding back.
Moses dragged the Jews through the desert for forty years to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil.
Golda Meir
The top ice cream manufacturer in Biblical times was Walls of Jericho.
Actually there were four wise men on the way to Bethlehem.
One of them said he knew a shortcut.
The Romans struggled to depict Scotland.
The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had to first learn Latin.
We know the Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
1066 Daily ChainMail Headline:
King Harold blames eye infection on illegal immigrants.
Galileo invented the telescope and then, about five minutes later, invented spying on his neighbours.
Breaking News: Archaeologists digging at the site of Shakespeare's house have uncovered thousands of monkey skeletons.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Student : "Because George still had the axe in his hand!"
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, high chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.
Blackadder
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
Some people are always late, like the late King George V.
Spike Milligan
As Captain Oates said: 'There's never a minicab around when you need one.'
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
I remember where I was when I heard Kennedy was shot. I was at home, sat down listening to the news.
You know what was odd about 9/11? The numbers 9 and 11.
Will and Guy's Humour In History
Will and Guy are convinced that humour, laughter and jokes have been with us since the beginning of human life on earth, and we would like to share some jokes with you that have an historical background.
Funny History Jokes
Funny Historical Facts, Jokes, Trivia and Fun
Our Top 10 Hilarious, Funny, Witty Jokes from History
6 Examples from The Laughter-lover - [Philgelos]
5 Hilarious, Short, and Funny History Exam Answers By Children
10 Hilarious, Clever, Short, Funnies: Mothers In History
Assorted Random, Useless, Hilarious and Funny Historical Trivia
Funny Historical Truths
Funny Historical Facts, Jokes, Trivia and Fun Funny History Jokes
Aristotle felt that laughter was a distinctive trait of humanity and one that distinguished humans from the animals.
Harty Tarty
Did you know that the eighth Duke of Devonshire, known to his friends as "Harty Tarty", was told off by Queen Victoria for picking his nose at dinner. A poor shot, he once killed a pheasant and his gun-dog, and wounded two bystanders [one of whom was his chef] with a single cartridge.
Cunning Balduf
Baldulf, the medieval soothsayer, prophesied to the king that his favourite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the soothsayer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned Baldulf and commanded him, 'Tell me when you will die!'
Baldulf realized that the king was planning to execute him straightaway, no matter what answer he gave. 'I do not know when I will die,' he cleverly answered finally. 'I only know that whenever I do die, you will die two days later.'
Our Top Ten Hilarious, Funny, Witty and Short Jokes from History
The Philgelos or "Laughter-lover" is probably the oldest compilation of jokes in existence; it contains some 265 jokes. It is said that the famous Monty Python Parrot sketch has its origins in a joke told in the Philogelos.
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights.
It appears that shortest war on record was between Zanzibar and Britain in 1896. Zanzibar [now part of Tanzania] surrendered after 38 minutes.
What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark? Floodlights and Ark lights
Which English King invented the fireplace? Alfred the Grate.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.
I'm desperately trying to establish why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Last words from a general in the American Civil War, 'Nonsense.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...............'
Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied, 'In silence.' [From the Philogelos]
What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood. [The Victorians enjoyed jokes like this one]
Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said, 'I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.' - Dated to the Philogelos 4th Century CE]
One that almost got away:
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives? He liked to chop and change
Six Further Examples from The Laughter-lover -
An intellectual, falling sick, had promised to pay the doctor if he recovered. When his wife nagged at him for drinking wine while he had a fever, he said, 'Do you want me to get healthy and be forced to pay the doctor?'
An intellectual caught sight of a deep well on his country-estate, and asked if the water was any good. The farmhands assured him that it was good, and that his own parents used to drink from that well. The intellectual expressed his amazement: 'How long were their necks, if they could drink from something so deep!'
An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had "departed", the intellectual replied: 'When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?'
A glutton betrothed his daughter to another glutton. Asked what he was giving her as a dowry, he replied: 'A house whose windows face the bakery.'
Funny History JokesWhile a misogynist was paying his last respects to his wife, someone asked him: 'Who has gone to rest? He replied: 'Me, now that I'm alone.'
A barber, an absent minded professor and a bald man go on a long journey together and have to camp out overnight so they decide to take it in turns to watch the luggage. The barber volunteers for the first watch while the other two sleep but soon gets bored so he decides to pass the time by shaving the professor's head. When his shift is up he wakes the professor who pats his head and exclaims, 'God, that barber is a real idiot, he's woken up baldy instead of me.'
Guy's Favourite History Funny
A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede*. They gather around the Robin, the guide, who explains, 'This is the spot where the Barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.'
A fellow at the front of the group asks, 'When did that happen?'
'1215,' answers Robin the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, 'Gee, hey everybody - we just missed it by a half hour.'
Footnote:
The Runneymede meadows are on the banks of the river Thames, in the county of Berkshire, England. Fortunately, the land is now owned and preserved by the National Trust.
Another True Story of an American Tourist
Mary Pembarthy, a guide at Windsor Castle, told Will and Guy this allegedly true story about what she heard last month when 'on duty'.
Mary was struggling to make herself heard over the roar of low flying aircraft coming into land at nearby London Heathrow Airport, one of the busiest in the world.
She was interrupted by an elderly American tourist who demanded what was wrong with the town planners, and why had they built the Royal Castle so close to the airport.
The Ministry Of Mirth - A Government Agency Funny Historical Jokes
You may be further amused to learn that in 1953 Australia created Ministry of Mirth as part of their government structure. Their role was to find humour in the changes brought about by government and present that information to the public in an amusing and acceptable way.
We have managed to find an old photo of the Ministry of Mirth at work. Don't they look happy?
Short, True, Funny Story from 19th Century London
Robert Devonshire, a middle aged Londoner from Hackney, was faced with a difficult decision when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary, both willing to join him in matrimony.
Although not particularly a religious man, Robert Devonshire found his way into St Martin's church and, kneeling down to pray, he asked God for advice on whether he should have Anna or Maria for his wife.
When Mr Devonshire got up he was most pleased to see that the Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: 'Ave Maria.'
He left the church a delighted man.
A Witty and Funny Old Joke from a History Lesson in the USAFunny History Jokes
In an American history discussion group, Professor Langer was trying to explain how society's ideal of beauty changes with time. 'For example, he said, 'take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five-feet, one-inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she'd do in today's version of the contest?'
The class fell silent for a moment.
Then Freddie piped up, 'Not very well.'
'Why is that?' asked Professor Langer.
'For one thing,' Freddie added, 'She'd be way too old.'
Five Hilarious, Short, and Funny History Exam Answers by Children
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and that was called the Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their was hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the setters. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. Lost Dog
France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. he wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.
In medieval times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the visitor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greek were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Short Jokes Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog