Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog : How To Be Funny Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog

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How To Be Funny
By David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard
Being funny is hard work. Some people think that humor is easy, that anybody can be funny with very little work. This is not true. To be funny there are a lot of things you must know about humor and a lot of situations you must prepare for. Think fast -- you're in line at McDonald's and the guy in front of you orders a Whopper -- what do you say? Give up? Read on, humor impaired person, and learn the secrets of being funny.
What Is Funny?
Humor can be broken down into five distinct categories. You should memorize these, as there will be a quiz later.
Category #1: Pain
Pain is the basis for all humor. It's a simple fact that if nobody gets hurt, it isn't funny. This includes both physical and emotional pain. For example, when Tweety hits Sylvester in the foot with a mallet, and he hops screaming, stars streaming from his foot, that's funny. If Tweety hit him and Sylvester didn't hurt at all, that's not funny. If Tweety hit him and Sylvester didn't hurt, but Sylvester turned around and stomped on Tweety's wittle head, that's funny.
Ethnic jokes are funny because they cause emotional pain to members of the ethnic group they poke fun at. However, be warned that it is common practice to respond to ethnic jokes with more humor. If you tell an ethnic joke and someone punches you in the nose, don't be surprised -- they're just showing their appreciation and responding in kind.
The only exception to this rule is when the pain happens to you. When you get hurt, it's not funny. It just hurts. However, other people will find your pain amusing, so be consoled in the knowledge that even though it hurts, people are still laughing at you.
Category #2: The Unexpected
When something happens that you do not expect to happen, that's funny. When an anvil falls on Wile E. Coyote, you expect him to splatter all over the place and die. When he instead gets flattened into an accordian shape, that's funny. (Also, of course, his pain is funny. See above.) Another example is the title graphic at the top of this page. You read it, and the letters are black -- but then the last character is an orangy red color. It's unexpected, so it's funny.
When you tell a joke and no one laughs, that's funny because you didn't expect that to happen. So if you tell a joke and no one laughs, it is polite to laugh hysterically. Everyone else thought your joke was great, so they returned the favor by doing something funny for you too.
Category #3: Lies and Other Untruths
Lies are inherently funny. If someone behind you in line asks how long you've been waiting, and you say "forever and a day," that's funny because it's a lie. Political jokes are popular because they're lies about liars. If a United States president is portrayed as a giant vending machine handing cash to a donkey, that's funny, because it's a lie. Probably what really happened was he gave the money to an elephant and a guy with a scythe.
Another type of "lie" that is funny is when you see something in a place where it couldn't be, or doing something that isn't possible. This type of humor is both untrue and unexpected, so it's doubly funny. For instance, if a big fat cartoon character like Elmer Fudd tiptoes behind a skinny little tree and hides, that's funny. If a skinny little cartoon character like Bugs Bunny hides behind Elmer Fudd, that's not funny.
Category #4: Wordplay
Saying words in funny ways is funny. For instance, Sylvester the cat is funny because he talks with a lisp and spits at the letter 's'. When British people say "aluminium," that's funny. In fact, anybody with an accent that isn't like yours is funny, and you should laugh to show your appreciation.
Another type of wordplay that is funny is saying one word when you mean another. If you're with your girlfriend, and you call her "Cathy" when you meant to say "Tina," that's funny. This type of humor is often followed by humor involving pain. (See above.)

Doing funny things will only get you half way to being a true funny man. How you do them is equally important. The following easy tips will help you with your "delivery," as we say in the industry.
Tip #1: Be Eccentric
If you want to be funny, it is important that you act the part. For example, if you have an office job, work 9 to 5, live in an ordinary house, have an ordinary wife and ordinary children, eat ordinary food, and sleep ordinary hours, you will not be recognized as a funny person. When you tell a joke, everyone may snicker quietly -- and that's good, but everybody tells snicker-worthy jokes once in a while. What you need to do is establish a reputation of being a wacky character so people will be excited with anticipation of the humor you're bound to provide them. They'll key in on your every word and gesture and laugh at the slightest thing you do. Sometimes, you won't even have to be funny, and people will laugh at you.
You definitely want to establish this kind of a reputation. You do that by becoming eccentric. In order for an eccentric trait to be funny, it must of course fit into one of the five basic humor categories, usually the "unexpected" category. Develop odd personal daily habits such as brushing your teeth during conversations with houseguests. Wear a monocle. Stand two inches from other people's faces when you talk to them. Carry salt and pepper shakers on your person and refuse to use anyone else's. Wear odd socks and short pants. Sing Gregorian chants to yourself in audible whispers. Snarl and grind your teeth together every time you say a word with a 'v' in it. Pass dollar bills to everyone on the street.
Tip #2: Look Funny
To be a funny person, you have to look funny. For example, the great comedians W. C. Fields and Jimmy Durante had big noses. (Technically, if you are funny, you should call it a "schnozz.") Bob Hope has a concave face. Steven Wright has mad scientist hair. Stan Laurel had a forehead taller than his waistline was wide. If you do not have an inherently funny appearance, do what you can to make it funny. Wear funny clothes. Get a funny hairdo. To illustrate the effectiveness of a funny appearance, imagine you are telling a funny joke. Now imagine you are telling a funny joke, and your chin jiggles everytime you move your lips. This is much funnier.
Tip #3: Get a Prop
George Burns had a cigar. Jack Benny had a violin. George Bush had Dan Quayle. The prop's contribution to how funny you are may not be obvious at first, but it is very important. Pick a prop, then carry it around with you wherever you go. Do not acknowledge the prop in any way other than its occasional use, and do not use it for any purpose other than that for which it was intended. To illustrate the effectiveness of a prop, imagine you are telling a funny joke. Now imagine you are telling a funny joke and you have a rubber glove in your hand. The added humor value should be immediately apparent.
Intrinsic Humor
Funny Words
Some things are intrinsically funny for no good reason. In Neil Simon's The Sunshine Boys, Simon expounds on this strange phenomenon:
"Words with a 'k' in it are funny. Alkaseltzer is funny. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny. All with a 'k'. 'L's are not funny. 'M's are not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomatoes is not funny. Lettuce is not funny. Cucumber's funny. Cab is funny. Cockroach is funny -- not if you get 'em, only if you say 'em."
The above quotation serves as a beginner's guideline to intrinsic humor, but one should note that this rule does not cover all cases ("hydrangea" is funny) and there are even exceptions ("linoleum" is funny).
It is very important to develop a sense of what words are inherently funny and what words are not. For example, if you go up to a total stranger and say "apple," it is funny because it is unexpected. But if you go up and say "rutabaga," it gives the joke an extra boost. Some funny words to get you started:
Caccitore. Oleo. Zwieback. Quintillion. Frump. Weasel. Chintzy. Stroganoff. Talcum. Gesundheit. Kazoo. Exsanguinate. Chinchilla. Quiche. Intrinsic. Zyzzyva. Angst. Kibitz. Aardvark.
Use these words whenever possible for maximum comic effect.
Funny Objects
There are also objects that are intrinsically funny. This is not to be confused with words that are intrinsically funny. Actual hydrangeas and rutabagas are not funny. However, there are a great many objects that are, which you may carry around for increased comic effect. These funny objects include stilts, plungers, and cows. You may want to consider using one of these objects as your signature prop (see above). Some examples of funny objects include:
Unicycles. Bellows. Cauliflower. Koosh balls. Girls' bicycles. Fish. Starfish. Three-hole punches. Snowshoes. Hacksaws. Cheese graters. Pinkies. Bell bottoms. Chopsticks. Long gray beards. Green peppers. Aardvarks.
Among the various funny objects are "interactive" funny objects, such as hand buzzers, whoopie cushions, and flower squirters. These interactive funny objects are bottomless treasure troves of hilarity -- since they're interactive, it makes your audience feel like they're "in" on the joke, and they'll consequently derive more satisfaction from the humor.
How to Be Funny
Four Parts:Developing a Sense of HumorDeveloping a Funny PersonaStaying InspiredSample Jokes
Being genuinely humorous and encouraging people to share a laugh together can help make you popular and successful. Humor helps you experience the lighter side of life, bringing happiness to everyone you meet, and it's been recognized as an important part of getting a job. A survey of 737 CEOs found that 98 percent of them favored hiring someone with a sense of humor over someone who didn't. Shrug off your stern self and tickle your funny bone. See Step 1 for more information.
Developing a Sense of Humor
1Learn a little about what makes you laugh. Laughter itself is unconscious. While it is possible for us to keep ourselves from laughing (not always successfully), it is very hard for us to produce laughter on demand, and doing so will usually seem "forced."Fortunately, laughter is very contagious (we're about 30 times more likely to laugh in the presence of others), and in a social context, it's easy to start laughing when others are laughing.
Studies have shown that three things make us laugh the most: a sense of superiority over someone else behaving "dumber" than us; a difference between our expectation of something and the actual result; or welcome relief from an anxiety.
2Learn to laugh in boring or unfunny circumstances. It's good to know that the less funny a place is, the easier it becomes to add the element of humorous surprise. It might be easier to get people to laugh about an office workplace than to get people to laugh in a comedy club.
This is why The Office, the NBC show, uses an office as its setting: it's about as boring as it gets. They even process paper. How boring is that?! We're not used to looking at an office as a funny place, so when it is funny, it's especially funny.
3Learn to appreciate witty wordplay and puns. A lot of the time, comedy comes from linguistic confusion (unintentional) or linguistic playfulness (intentional). We sometimes find things humorous when there's a gap between our words and our meanings.
Freudian slips are linguistic errors that are believed to expose what you were really thinking rather than what you "meant" to say, and are often of a sexual nature.
Witty wordplay is more intentional: "A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion." Or this one, where the words "hockey" and "fight" are switched: "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
4Appreciate irony. There's perhaps nothing in comedy more widely cited but more thoroughly misunderstood than irony. Irony occurs when there is a gap between our expectations of a statement, situation, or image and the actual experience of it.
Comedian Jackie Mason illustrates irony with a joke: "My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."
This joke messes with one of our fundamental expectations: that grandparents are nice, friendly people who are utterly harmless, and that the advice they offer should be sincere.The joke is funny because, in it, we are presented with a grandparent who is rascally, thievish, and double-crossing.
5Trust in your inner sense of humor. Being funny doesn't come in a "one-size-fits-all" package. What makes you funny is unique to you and the way you observe the world. Trust that you do have a funny bone; as babies we laugh from 4 months of age, and all children express humor naturally from kindergarten age, using humor to entertain themselves and others. It's already in you – you just need to bring it out!
Part 2 of 3: Developing a Funny Persona
1Take yourself less seriously. Remember the most embarrassing moments in your life so far, the monumental stuff-ups, the times you refused to make changes, the breakdowns in communications that you played a major part in, and maybe even the time you tried to be funny around your friends and only crickets chirped. These things can be hilarious.
Telling other people about very embarrassing moments in your life is a great way to get them to laugh. Take a page from famous improv comic Colin Mochrie, who said: "He had the kind of face only a mother could love, if that mother was blind in one eye and had that kind of milky film over the other... but still, he was my identical twin."
How to Be Funny part 2 step
2Put yourself under the spotlight. Tell self-depracating jokes rather than making jokes at the expense of others. More people will be more willing to laugh. Rodney Dangerfield made fun of both his sanity and his looks with this one: "I went to the psychiatrist, and he says 'You're crazy.' I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, 'Okay, you're ugly too!'"
Redd Foxx had this to say about his silly devotion to drugs and alcohol: "I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why."
A great joke from Henry Youngman: "I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."
3Know your audience. Different things make different people laugh. Some people find that sensationalism causes them to laugh; others find that satire does the trick. Learn which is which, and deliver your jokes and anecdotes so that they apply to many different categories of humor and emotion at once.
Not everyone knows what it's like to ride in a helicopter or be a millionaire or have a baby. But most people know what it's like to go fast, fantasize about money, and love another person deeply. So make your jokes cover more ground by utilizing really basic, but profound, human emotions.
When you're in a group of people you don't know, listen to what subjects they're talking about and what's making them laugh. Are they the witty banter type? The slapstick, or physical comedy type? The better you know someone, the easier it will be to make them laugh.
4Mislead the mind. Misleading the mind is what we referred to earlier as surprise. This is when you create a difference between what someone expects to happen and what actually happens. Verbal jokes use this element to the greatest level possible, trying to misdirect your attention in the same that magic tricks do.
For example: "What happens to liars when they die?" Answer - "They lie still." This joke works because you have to interpret the joke in two ways, and the brain is temporarily confused by its inability to draw on usual experience.
Consider Groucho Marx's clever one-liner, "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read," or Rodney Dangerfield's line, "My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

How To Be Funny Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog