Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog : Bad Jokes Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog

Bad Jokes Biography :

Source:- Google.com.pk
A collection of 100 Bad Dad Jokes that will either make you laugh or cringe. Embarrassingly bad jokes for you to enjoy.
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How do you know when you are going to drown in milk? When its past your eyes!
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth - its pasteurized before you even see it
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads "Small medium at large."
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you".
"Sure thing" the bartender replies and asks "but what's with the big pause?"
The panda holds up his hands and says "I was born with them"
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere.
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.
My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.
If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
"What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs."
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
What do you call a Mexican man leaving the hospital? Manuel
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore.
I went to the doctor today and he told me I had type A blood but it was a type O.
When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don't think it's feline well.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Without geometry life is pointless.
A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
What's Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1forest1
I gave all my dead batteries away today... Free of charge.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Tea is for mugs.
What's the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I've deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it's Hans free.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
A man walked in to a bar with some asphalt on his arm. He said "Two beers please, one for me and one for the road."
Just watched a documentary about beavers... It was the best damn program I've ever seen.
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
Conjunctivitis.com - now that's a site for sore eyes.
A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"
"Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places" Doctor "Well don't go to those places."
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I fear for the calendar, it's days are numbered.
There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Slept like a log last night ... woke up in the fireplace.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian - they're not laughing now.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
Velcro... What a rip-off.
I'm reading a book on the history of glue - can't put it down.
Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.
Q: What's 50 Cent's name in Zimbabwe? A: 400 Million Dollars.
"My Dog has no nose." "How does he smell?" "Awful"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "Give me some chap-stick... and put it on my bill"
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bay-gulls!
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
How do you make a hankie dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, "man, it's really hot in here". The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, "WHOA, a talking muffin!"
A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies "sorry mate we only do plain"
Sgt.: Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you're pretty repulsive yourself.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
I knew i shouldn't have ate that seafood. Because now i'm feeling a little... Eel
What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I'll ketch up
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.
Wife: Honey I'm pregnant. Me: Well.... what do we do now? Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. Me: Hm.. I think I'd be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor.
At what time does the soldier go to the dentist? 1430.
"Hold on, I have something in my shoe" "I'm pretty sure it's a foot"
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base? Because there's a Shortstop in between!
Dad I'm hungry' ... 'Hi hungry I'm dad
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.
'Put the cat out' ... 'I didn't realize it was on fire
Where's the bin? Dad: I haven't been anywhere!
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
When Dad drops a pea off of his plate 'oh dear I've pee'd on the table!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
Because the cow has the utter.
What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
Does this taste funny to you?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
How can you tell if a groom is Polish?
He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt.
Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the New York Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, the other in burst shorts!
How does an idiot call for his dog?
He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.
When you leave school, you should become a bone specialist.
You've certainly got the head for it.
How are a chicken and a grape alike?
They are both purple... except for the chicken.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words!
Where does a general keep his army?
In his sleevy.
A horse enters a bar and walks over to the bartender, the bartender looks at the horse and says, hey buddy, why the long face?
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey."
The horse says "Sure."
What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wale's?
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
How do you catch a unique animal?
Unique up on him
What did the girl melon say to the boy melon when he proposed to her?
We're too young... we cantaloupe!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
Did you hear about the Olympic Gold Medal winner from Canada?
He loved his medal so much he had it bronzed.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 ate 9 and 10...
What is green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys?
Because he was shellfish
Have you heard the joke about the bed?
It hasn't been made up yet.
What has five legs, three eyes and two tails?
A dog with spare parts.
What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?
Take me to your weeder!
Why can't Irishmen ever be attorneys?
They can never make it past the bar!
Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died?
He pasta way.
What has four legs and one arm?
A happy pit bull.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was intense.
What happened when the cow jumped over a barbed wire fence?
Utter destruction!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It is two tired.
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Where did they first make French Fries?
In grease.
What happened to the butcher when he backed up into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his orders.
Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold out Tide.
What's a Wok?
Something you throw at a Wabbit.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderware!
There was a big moron and a little moron sitting on a fence.
The big moron fell off. Why?
The little moron was a little more on.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick!
What do you call a midget fortune teller who just escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig?
I wanna get a head!
Why did the ram go off the end of the cliff?
Because he didn't see the ewe turn.
Hear about the two peanuts that walked through central park?
One was a-salted.
Why did the dolphin kill himself?
He had no porpoise in his life!
Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
Because he's a squealer!
What do you call a cow who has had a abortion?
Decalfinated!
Where do you find a legless turtle?
Right where you left him!
What do you call a bee that produces milk?
Boobee
When do you have the right to scold your coffee?
When you have more than sufficient grounds.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you call a fly without wings or legs?
A roll.
Why didn't Cuba have a team in the Olympics?
Because, any Cuban that can run, jump, or swim already lives in America.

Bad Jokes Jokes for Kids That are Really Funny in English In Hindi To Tell In Urdu Knock Knock Tagalog